For the dont know how many times in my fucking ridiculous stupid life i am feeling like shit again. For that very person i am sorry. Its not about apologizing and all but somehow i dont know i am really sorry. I know i am a fucking bitch, spoilt, selfish, stupid, no brain, a total fucker, whatever, I dont know. I guess i am selfish. Maybe part of you wont say i am totally selfish, probably like i want my way more. Ok. Maybe self-reflection is the best. I am selfish i guess. I dont know. I know that my character and all is fucked up. But nobody's perfect. I dont know. I am talking nonsense. I really dont know what to say. I dont want to dampen your mood or anything. I dont mind going back by shutting my mouth and not saying anything to not spoil your mood. I dont know. Probably like what last time debbie used to say that sometimes i should really shut my mouth and all. Probably the consequences would be better. I end up making myself feel like shit and probably the people around me also feels the same way.

For the very few months in my life i dont know how i am feeling actually. Calling Aaron in the middle of the night and start crying but not pouring out why am i so upset. Making myself fall asleep and all. I dont know. Probably what i should do is to learn not to be a bitch and all. I dont know why the fuck am i spoiling everyone's mood. I am really sorry. I dont want it that way.

Maybe that day what Jiayi said is right. I should just let go of some of my friends. Especially my guy friends. Maybe i am always getting into people's relationship without knowing. But somehow, ok maybe it is really my fault that i make other people's girls feel insecured and all. Probably i should slowly just loose contact with them or like what jy say talk on msn and it will be ok. So non of us will be upset right. The girl will be happy the guy will too. I dont know. Why does it always has to be that way.

Aaron has been so busy. I dont know. I cant expect him to comfort me most of the time. Sometimes seeing people outside, even my friends i am so fucking jealous. I dont know why. Seeing that they have someone who actually loves them are at their side. But i cant show that i am actually jealous or what. I still have sharon what. right sharon. So sad. I guess we are the abandon kids after all. HAHA. And i really miss Cheryl, we have not been chatting for so long already. Sigh. I dont know. Probably i am also getting into her and her GF way also. See, this is what i mean. i am always going in between people.

This is some fucking random post. So yea. Probably i think this is not the first time i am so upset about everything. I dont know. I think i am better alr.

SMILES. :)